Missing Your Eating Disorder

You never think you’re going to miss your eating disorder. You start recovering and you start not hating yourself, and you look back and you can see just how trapped and miserable you were. Why would you ever miss being in that place? For me, my problems got really bad, or I relapsed, when I…

Recovery Is

Recovery is debating whether or not to have pizza or chocolate or pasta or any other of your ‘fear’ foods or ‘bad’ foods. It’s feeling guilty for ‘treating’ yourself or ‘eating badly’ when you decide to have it. It’s knowing that that’s the eating disorder talking. It’s learning that every time you choose the food…

Recovery in a Diet Culture

We live in a diet culture. We can see it in the way that weight loss is advertised as a goal, as something we should all be striving for. We can see it in the way that plus size or curvy models are a rarity, praised for not fitting the mould, all while often times…

Beginning Recovery

A popular portrayal of eating disorder recovery is that a person with an ED has an epiphany or a life changing moment or just decides one day to not have an eating disorder any more and, just like that, they’re on the road to recovery. They might hit a few road blocks, but for the…

Intro to Eating Disorder Awareness Week

Eating Disorder Awareness Week (EDAW) is often misunderstood. Because obviously, we all know that eating disorders are a thing – we don’t exactly need to be made aware of their existence and the fact that they’re pretty shit. But there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about eating disorders, and EDAW is maybe one…

On Underwear Photos and Loving My Body

I’ve taken underwear selfies for tumblr before, but they’ve always been very strategically shot – very little stomach and thighs, and lots of focus on the boobs. This morning I took some that are different – straight on, not stretching to hide the curves my body makes, not hiding my ‘problem areas’, wearing underwear that…

On Body Negativity

 (TW Eating Disorders) I was 15 when I first felt that there was something ‘wrong’ with my body. I was visiting my dad in Cork and he made fat jokes. Pretty much constantly. He then apparently had a go at my mum about my weight. I was 5’8 and a size 12 – perfectly healthy…